Tripping Over POV

So, POV. It’s a real thing, huh? Most modern books are written in a close limited third person (so you’re in one person’s head but calling them by their name. Think, “John did this. He also thought that.”) or first person, where we’re on an “I” basis with the narrator.

I’ve never been a huge fan of reading or writing in first person. It just feels a bit too close. I want some narrative distance. Also, if I’m here to fawn over the blorbo, I want you to tell me blorbo’s name 10 million times, thanks. Remind me that we’re here for blorbo. And tell me how pretty they are.

You know what’s really not popular? “Head-hopping.” You know what I really like to do?

Yeah.

It started when I read this one author’s stories that were just the most catnippy to me. At first, their prose was repellant. It was like a seasick merry-go-round with the POV changing every few paragraphs …but then it grew on me.

I started reading danmei, which plays fast and loose with POV. I’d say it tends toward omniscient POV. I’d also say it dips into the heads of any character it damn well pleases.

And now I’m here, with a style that doesn’t seem very popular, getting slammed with terrible reviews at least half the time. I always think… I know the prose is like that. I did it on purpose. Sorry.

But am I, really? Not really. Not enough to stop, when I really think about it. There are things about my writing style that make me insecure and things I’d like to do better (always!) but I think… this is what I’m interested in pursuing for now, for better or for worse.

So I’m trying to get better about not cringing away from it and just embracing it and letting it be, instead. I don’t think it’s going to be everybody’s cup of tea, but I hope that there are some people reading my stories who like them. Maybe I’m writing for those people.

I know that at the end of the day, I have to be writing for me because the only guarantee I ever have with my books is that I’ll have written them. If no one ever likes them, if they don’t ever sell, I need to have gotten enough joy out of the process of writing that writing will have been enough. You see?

Sickness and Health

It’s been a really rough month and a half. First I caught covid, which led to a really scary asthma exacerbation, and now I’m dealing with some really exhausting side effects while adjusting to new medication. I’m not having a good time, guys.

Which I say just because… I want to say something. To let you know how I’m doing and not just disappear. I’d like it if it was something more positive and fun, but, well, this is where I’m at.

I’m trying my best and trying to be kind to myself in these times. Hopefully I’ll feel good about writing again soon. <3

The Fox and the Rose

I have a new book coming out in July. It’s one I’ve lived with for quite a while now—longer than I live with most stories before finishing them. I think I’ve been working on this for the better part of a year.

This book is my love letter to a lot of things—my love letter to research, for one. Also to danmei and Chinese culture. In a brief fit of shitposting combined with Trying to Figure Out How to Do Instagram, I made one of those silly little “trope maps.”

I suppose this post also functions as a cover reveal! If you’d like to check out the book and place a preorder, you can do both of those things here:

When she’s hungry, she looks for the garden

I love Annie Dillard. I love her writing, which seems to possess a kind of singular beauty. I’m once again thinking of this quote of hers and finding it at once bolstering and convicting:

One of the few things I know about writing is this: spend it all, shoot it, play it, lose it, all, right away, every time. Do not hoard what seems good for a later place in the book, or for another book; give it, give it all, give it now. The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now. Something more will arise for later, something better. These things fill from behind, from beneath, like well water. Similarly, the impulse to keep to yourself what you have learned is not only shameful, it is destructive. Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.

– Annie Dillard

I confess I haven’t felt like much of a writer lately. My words have slowed down. I’ve been prioritizing other things. Life and health have become sometimes sad—maybe moreso than usual. This will pass, and yet it still seems hard.

Ah, I want to end this blog post triumphantly, but maybe it’s most honest to say that writing is still someplace I can go. That even when the light on the porch of my own creative practice seems dark and dim, it never goes out completely.

And there has to be something very hopeful in that.

New Book Release: Fairytale

Happy New Year! I’ve got a new book out, called Fairytale. It’s a slice of life m/m romance featuring a Kpop boy group. I’ve really loved spending time with Charis and the rest of Fairytale, and I hope you will, too.

Right now, you can purchase an eBook copy on Amazon and Smashwords. In the coming weeks, I’ll upload it to my eBook store on this website, and you’ll be able to find it at Apple Books, Barnes & Noble, and other eBook retailers as well. The paperback version is also coming soon!

Your charms thaw the Ice Prince…

The K-pop group Fairytale is living out their dreams. They made it to debut, and now their star is on the rise.

Charis is hailed as the beautiful Ice Prince of Fairytale, but he’s never been special. He’s here just to fill out the numbers. No matter how hard he works, he’ll only ever be second best. A pale imitation of talent.

Not like his teammate Mouse, an internet sensation who was famous even as a trainee. Bursting with talent and charisma, he’s the ace not only of Fairytale but of their entire company. Everyone loves Mouse, the uninhibited Dark Prince of Fairytale.

Between comebacks and contest shows, the members of Fairytale learn to support each other and lean on each other through accidents, rumors, and incidents. They work hard to prove their dreams and to answer the biggest question of all: Is it possible to find love after your happily ever after?

Fairytale is a standalone m/m novel. It is part of Modern Witchblood, a collection of books that take place in modern times several hundred years after the events of The Witchblood Heir series.